Now Playing Tracks

Fuck everything. I finally get a good opportunity to do a tattoo apprenticeship and I can’t, because it doesn’t pay and I need a better or second job, so no way in hell do I have time to take an hour bus ride there, be there, and an hour bus ride back, and also find a second part time job or a different full time job. Great. Absolutely wonderful.

OOOHHHHHHHH MY GOD I JUST GOT A CALL BACK FOR A TATTOOO APPRENTICESHIP I HAVE TO GO IN SOON TO SHOW HIM MY ARTORK OH GOD PEOPLE PRAY FOR ME PLEASE EVEN IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN GOD PRAY TO SATAN IDC JUST IT WOULD BE THE COOLEST THING EVER IF THIS COULD HAPPEN FOR ME

6/3/13
There’s this boy that I met and I think I like him because every time I see him my stomach twists into knots. Why?

6/14/13 
It’s my birthday and my best present today was seeing him, him him him him

6/15/13
I hope I get to see him again, his face is pretty and his voice is gentle and I hope he doesn’t forget me over the summer

8/24/13
That boy still exists and he is still beautiful and lovely and our skin touched today

8/28/13
It seems like a lot of other people think this boy is beautiful too. How annoying. He was supposed to have been my little secret

10/5/13
I like this boy a lot and I saw him with another girl tonight and it was like being stabbed in the middle of the stomach with a jagged, rusty knife

10/6/13 
What if he falls in love with her? I will not be okay

11/16/13
I kissed the boy I kissed the boy I kissed the boy and he said he liked me

11/20/13
I walked home with him today and we kissed some more and his lips tasted better than the alcohol I’m so used to consuming

11/22/14
He chose me

11/23/13
“When I’m with you, all of my worries go away,” he said. That’s all I could ever want really

12/1/13
He told me he loved me and I held him so tightly that neither of us could breathe

12/7/13
He took me to meet his family today and we went to a garden and I’ve decided that I love him back

12/16/13
We laid down in his bed but every single movement was innocent. I stared at the ceiling and loved the way my head fit perfectly on his shoulder. He loves the same music as I do

12/17/13
We had our first fight today and I cried when I got home and then Mother yelled so I cried some more

12/20/13
He’s getting awfully close to his female friends and I don’t know how I feel about it. I took a brisk walk in the rain to think it through and then I drank when I got home. His Christmas present came in the mail. Should I trash it?

12/22/13
We had another fight and it was bad

12/31/13
I haven’t seen him in a while and I’m nervous for the next time I do, is that bad?

1/1/14
He was my New Year’s kiss. In the middle of the night he told me he missed me while I was gone but then he wouldn’t touch me in the morning

1/4/14
He went to his friend’s house and didn’t tell me. This friend happens to be a girl. I don’t know. I’m probably going to get drunk tonight

1/5/14
He left.

7 months of diary entries (via thoseconstellations)
To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union