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I am going home and taking my pants off and taking a fucking nap or watching a movie or something to distract myself from the suck of today, between my bank being the stupidest fuckers ever, and resigning up for medicaid being the horrible not understandable pain in the ass of paperwork that it is, and the outrageously rude bitch manager at the smoke shop, i am through with today.

God forbid you fire employees who make multiple mistakes that overdraft a customers bank account, or make signing up fir medical insurence when your poor more easy, or fucking give a person a chance at a job instead of flatout refusing them an interview on the basis of one past job that isnt even anything near the same type of position as what they aoplied to.

People disgust me

I really need to get this job that i interview for tomorrow. I need to make enough money to get back to Florida by December, even if that means barely eating and working as many jobs as i can get between now and then.

50 questions, 50 ways to get to know me.

  • 1:

    What would you name your future daughter?

  • 2:

    Do you miss anyone?

  • 3:

    What if I told you that you were pretty?

  • 4:

    Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

  • 5:

    What are you looking forward to in the next week?

  • 6:

    Did you go out or stay in last night?

  • 7:

    How late did you stay up last night?

  • 8:

    Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

  • 9:

    What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

  • 10:

    Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

  • 11:

    Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

  • 12:

    Have you pretended to like someone?

  • 13:

    Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

  • 14:

    Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

  • 15:

    Is it hard for you to get over someone?

  • 16:

    Think back five months ago, were you single?

  • 17:

    Have you ever cried from being so mad?

  • 18:

    Hold hands with anyone this week?

  • 19:

    Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

  • 20:

    Who did you last see in person?

  • 21:

    What is the last thing you said out lot?

  • 22:

    Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

  • 23:

    Have you ever been to Paris?

  • 24:

    Are you good at hiding your feelings?

  • 25:

    Do you use chap stick?

  • 26:

    Who did you last share a bed with?

  • 27:

    Are you listening to music right now?

  • 28:

    What is something you currently want right now?

  • 29:

    Were your last three kisses from the same person?

  • 30:

    How is your heart lately?

  • 31:

    Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

  • 32:

    When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

  • 33:

    What do people call you?

  • 34:

    Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

  • 35:

    Are there any stressful situations in your life?

  • 36:

    What are you listening to right now?

  • 37:

    What is wrong with you right now?

  • 38:

    Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

  • 39:

    Do you make wishes at 11:11?

  • 40:

    What is on your wrists right now?

  • 41:

    Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected?

  • 42:

    Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

  • 43:

    Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

  • 44:

    Have you hugged someone within the last week?

  • 45:

    Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

  • 46:

    What were you doing at midnight last night?

  • 47:

    Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

  • 48:

    Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

  • 49:

    Have you ever been to New York?

  • 50:

    Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Pumpkin pasties and butterbeer and watching Harry Potter, because i can’t do anymore job stuff until Monday. It doesnt take long to go in every single place to see whos hiring when youre in a town this big, and no computer access to apply to things that way until Monday. So until then i’m going to watch Harry Potter because it helps keep me happy even though i hate it here and can’t wait to be back in Florida, and i can’t work on Lukes blanket until my aunt wakes up in probably 2 hours.

Trying to find a job in a small town is rediculous. Thats all i need is a fucking job. I dont care at all what fucking job it is, i dont care if its mcdonalds. I need a job so that i can save every scrap of money i make to go back to Florida with. I dont care about paying my sister back first, i can pay her back from Florida. What i can’t do is stay here past December without losing every bit of sanity i have.

Everything i love and care about is in Florida, and thats my chance at a good, happy life. And i am not going to fucking lose it just because of this shitty fucking place. Im going back by the end of the year no matter what i have to fucking do to get there.

I cant feel anything other than suck right now. Everything will be better once i get a job. I dont care what i have to do, no fucking way in hell am i being here past Christmas. I will make enough money to be back to Luke, and back to Florida by then, no matter what. I dont care if that means not paying my sister back. Im grateful for her loaning me the money and all, but my happiness in life and me getting back to florida is much more important to me than me paying her back. I can still pay her back from Florida. But i can’t get back to Florida as soon if i have to give her the amount she wants each month. And i need to be back there as soon as possible because i have never been nearly as happy in my entire life as i was while i was in Florida and i am not going to give that up. I have a chance to really be happy and have a decent life, with a really really wonderful person. And i am not fucking giving that up or risking that for anything or anyone.

It feela so weird and completely unreal that i’m flying back to New York in a few days. Trying to pack in as many good memories as possible before i leave and still have a few things to pack and i am going to miss so so so so much more than i can explain but its also going to be nice to be in the country again even though most other stuff there sucks.

I want a husky with two different colored eyes. And when i get back to New York, i will do my damndest to find one. And if my aunt says one word to me about getting a dog, or touches my dog, i will throw a fucking cast iron skillet at her.

Never has ANYTHING put my vagina through so much pain as a bicycle seat. Like it seriously hurts more than times when i had sex 10 times in a day. And i only rode to Walmart and back.

I get to call my sister and ask if she can take a week off work to drive the two days to Florida to get me, because i have too much stuff to take back on a plane or train, and no money for a ticket anyway. This is fabulous. At least she has 2 days in a row off anyway so hopefully she wont have to take a whole week off. If she even can. Or will.

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